Disappointment, Setbacks, and starting our Home Study

It has been exactly one month since we turned in our application to CAWLI. During our intake interview, we voiced concerns about using a different agency to do our home study simply because we would feel more comfortable with a social worker who knows CAWLI procedures and needs. So, we waited until now to hear back from Meg about their social worker here in Florida (who was on vacation until recently). To our surprise and dismay, unfortunately, she is unable to do our home study for us. So we are left scrambling to find another agency to complete the home study for us, trying to make up for all the time lost waiting for the CAWLI social worker. Fortunately, yesterday, Meg gave me a couple of contacts for agencies who could do a home study for us.

After several e-mails to different home study agencies, I was contacted by Florida Home Studies and Adoption, Inc late yesterday afternoon. They have agreed to complete our home study and have a social worker located right here in Melbourne! I sent in the application this morning, so I am hoping that we can be well into the swing of things by the beginning of next month!

So yesterday was a mixture of emotion, from disappointment, to frustration, to elation! It amazes me how quickly things can change during this process! So we are back on track after a very small bump in the road! YAY!

Panda Bears EVERYWHERE!!!

Clearly we are very excited about adopting our daughter. If there was ever any doubt about the level of excitement, all one has to do is poke their head into our guest room. While I was on vacation last week, I ended up getting TONS of stuff for that room. I bought everything from books and stuffed animals to posters and wall decorations. I think I brought home more stuff for her than I brought for my husband!

We have been decorating the room with panda bears. They are cute, cuddly, and give us the chance to incorporate some of our child’s culture into the décor of the room. At the same time, we hope that the panda bears will help her be a little less shocked by the transition from China to America. This is a bit of a problem when I go to places like the San Diego Zoo, where they have a Panda exhibit. Oh My God! The CUTENESS is mind-boggling!

I just hope that she doesn’t hate panda bears… if that is even possible. Who could hate panda bears??

In either case, my husband suggested we have a back up plan-- Just in case. Any ideas?

"Have you picked your child yet?"

I have had numerous people ask me “have you picked out your child yet?” I wanted to take today to explain to everyone exactly how international adoptions work (at least through our agency). You do not get to pick a child you want from a wide array of choices/photos, the child you get as a referral is a child that is matched with your family (using the criteria you gave in your application) from the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs).

Step One: After you make the decision to adopt a child from over seas, the very next step is looking at adoption agencies. They really are plentiful and you want to make sure that the agency you pick has the best interests of the child and your new family in mind. The best idea is to talk to people who have used that particular agency, ask for references from the agency staff, and READ— a lot.

Step Two: Apply to the agency. Most agencies have an application and associated fees. Once the agency receives your application, they will most likely want an interview with you and your partner.

Step Three: After the intake interview, it’s time to get busy collecting paperwork and applying for passports, copies of birth certificates, marriage license, etc. During this time, you will also be contacted by the social worker who will be conducting your home study.

Step Four: Home study. The home study takes about a month to complete. During this time, the social worker will explain about adoption, answer any questions, and make sure your home is safe and suitable for a child.

Step Five: USCIS Application. Once the home study is complete, it’s time to apply to the US government for approval to bring a child into the country. The reason for this is because the child becomes an American citizen as soon as the flight from China lands on US soil. The approval and fingerprinting process for the USCIS application takes about 2-3 months to complete.

Step Six: Paperwork to Agency and Dossier to China. This process takes about a month and a half. The paperwork and fees must be certified, notarized, and sent to China with several other dossiers of families waiting to adopt. It takes the Chinese government about 2 weeks to file the paperwork in China with the CCAA.

Step Seven: Waiting, waiting, and more waiting. This can be the longest part of the whole process, and sometimes, the most grueling. This is the time where you are waiting for a referral from the CCAA. Depending on the age, health status, and gender of the child, this wait can be anywhere from 18 to 39 months!

Step Eight: Referral!! This is when the CCAA sends the referral to the agency. The referral will have a photo, health history, and short description of the child that the CCAA has matched with your family. (So, as you can tell, it is nearly 2 years before you even get to learn your child’s name!)

Step Nine: Approximately six weeks from the referral day, you travel to China to pick up your child. You spend 2 weeks in China sightseeing and visiting various provinces and orphanages.

Step Ten: Come home from China and complete adoption in US— Become one happy family!

So, as you can see, the process is long and very in depth. You do not get to pick your own child, but we are certain we will be matched with a perfect little girl from China! The waiting is the worst part and I can only hope that we have more than enough to keep us busy.

Until Tomorrow!!

Happy Birthday! (Well, two days early...)

I can’t believe I’m turning 30! Before we decided to adopt, I was rather upset about the whole prospect. Now, because the Chinese government requires that you be at least 30 years old to adopt, I’m ok with it, even happy about it. I even had to wait on filling out some of the paperwork so that I would be 30 on documents that go to China.

I guess there comes a point where you realize that there’s nothing you can do to stop time. At least I still LOOK like I’m in my early 20’s! LOL I guess I just thought I would be somewhere else by the time I got to this point in my life. Not sure where, exactly, but somewhere else. Or maybe I just hoped I would see Europe before I got too old! HAHA!

So, Happy Birthday to me, and anyone else who has a birthday this month! Cheers and all that! Enjoy it! Life is way too short to be upset about the passing of another year. Its just the Earth traveling around the sun like it does every 365 days…

Buried Beneath the Paperwork...

Just to give you some idea of the paperwork process for adopting a child from China is like, take a look below. This is a list of paperwork and items need for the adoption process given to us by the adoption agency. The list on the top is paperwork that will eventually be sent to China (that we will never ever see again). The stuff on the bottom of the list will be held on file with the agency. As you can see, most of the documents need to be originals or certified copies. This means that we have to submit requests for documents from places like the New York State Department of Health, Indiana State Department of Health for birth certificates, the State of Florida Civil Department for marriage certificates, etc. All the while, we have to apply for new passports (Chris has never had one before and my name recently changed). Each of these places can take up to 6 weeks to process a request, thus turning the paper-chase into a bit of a waiting game.

Unfortunately, some of the paperwork, such as the criminal background checks, reference letters, and DCF record search cannot be completed until we are assigned a social worker and the homestudy process has begun. That will not happen until at least early August.

At least we are most of the way there with the paperwork we need to gather prior to the homestudy process (see the little x’s? those indicate that we have already gathered those documents and put them into my “adoption book”). We are currently waiting on birth certificates and passports and then our stuff is complete (except for the physical examination which will be done in late August).

So, take a deep breath and exhale, we totally understand. It can be a little overwhelming. Fortunately, I am fairly organized and all of the paperwork (tax forms, original birth certificates, and marriage license) were all on one easy to find place, neatly organized and in labeled folders. See? Being obsessive about some things DOES come in handy!

Yay! Plane Trip in September!

I’m so excited! Today, I booked our tickets to travel to Boston to meet with Meg, Lillian, and the rest of the CAWLI staff. We plan on traveling over Labor Day weekend (first week of September—happy birthday Chris!). Hopefully, we will have our homestudy done by then and be working on our USCIS approval. I can’t wait!

I have e-mailed a few friends we know in the area to see if they want to get together for lunch or something while we are up there. One family has actually used the CAWLI to adopt both of their daughters. They are the main reason we chose that particular agency. I hope that Chris can meet with them. I’m sure it will be an awesome experience!

Speaking of meetings, at the end of this month, we are supposed to be meeting with a friend of my father’s who also adopted a little girl from China. I’m sure getting to sit down and talk with these families will definitely do us some good.

Now if only I can get Chris on the stupid plane!!

Chinese For Dummies!?!

HI there and welcome to day 2 of my Blog. Since not much has changed since yesterday, I thought I would share with you some of the things we are doing to get ready for our trip to China. Of course, I already mentioned the room, and between getting passports and filing paperwork we are also ATTEMPTING to learn Chinese.

…OMG Chinese is HARD!!! My loving husband bought me the Rosetta Stone for my birthday and that by itself is hard. So I bought “Chinese for Dummies” as a supplement. Yup, it’s still HARD!! I think I can identify man (Nan Ren), woman (Nu Ren), and eating (Chi Fan), but that’s about it… I think I need to work on it a bit more! Good thing we have LOTS of time….

Of course some of us decided that since Chinese is too hard, let the wife handle it… Gee thanks, Chris.

Chris's point of view "She’s smart! See the funny hat? That means she’s smart!"

Riiiiiiight…..

I can only hope that English is much easier for our daughter to learn than Chinese is for us. I plan on sending lots of books and other materials while we wait for our travel papers so that she can get a jump start on learning english. Good Luck little Saiya!