Are you Happy?

This weekend I worked while Chris watched Saiya. She was being difficult most of Sunday, so Chris let my sister take her for a few hours so that she could burn off some energy playing with her cousins. When I got home last night, we met my sister at the store to pick up Saiya and she was back to being her difficult self. I scolded her several times in the store and again when we got home. Finally when I was putting her to bed, she looked at me and said:

Saiya: Mama, are you happy?
Me: Yes, mama’s happy.
Saiya: Then why you scream at me?
Me: Mama didn’t scream at you, mama scolded you because you were misbehaving at the store.
Saiya: Does mama still love Saiya?

Of course at this point in the conversation, my heart was breaking! She has been with us for six months and 5 days and has never needed reassurance from us that we love her and we are happy that she is a part of our family. Truthfully, we never really thought she needed it as she is adjusting so well. I think sometimes we forget that adopted children can have those kinds of issues. The conversation continued:

Me:  Of course mama loves Saiya! No matter if Saiya is being good or bad or silly or sad, Mama will ALWAYS love Saiya!
Saiya:  Because I'm pretty?
Me:  Aww, baby, you are pretty, but thats not why we love you.  We love you because you are our little girl!

The conversation went on like that for about another 20 minutes until she was certain that we loved her. Poor girl. After about 10 minutes of being in bed, she was back to her old silly self, putting her stuffed animals to sleep and calling to me a million times for kisses and hugs. It was a very strange half an hour conversation with my daughter that I mistakenly assumed we wouldn’t need.

Here’s to learning something new everyday!